Ten Indispensable Steps to Becoming a Successful Architect

To be successful in architecture you must follow the steps summarised below as best you can. Especially Step 1.

Step 1: Age range 0 – 9. It is essential that you are born into a privileged family. Both parents should be – as a minimum – Caucasian, university educated and successful professional people in their own right. In your formative years this will almost guarantee you receive the educational, financial and social advantages necessary to succeed.

Step 2: Age range 10 – 17. You must attend a Public School (at the very least a Grammar School) in order to gain the confidence, obtain the social nuances and learn the speech patterns required to distinguish you from similarly talented State educated students. Having received the appropriate educational support and guidance from your parents, as a budding architect you will now be equipped with the qualifications and social connections required for the next step.

Step 3: Age range 18 – 25. As a promising architect, choosing the right school of architecture is a vital component in cultivating your aim of getting the prize of  gaining practical work experience – as an unpaid intern if need be – in one or more Starchitect’s offices. (The contacts you make with visiting tutors from the relevant Starchitect’s office will help you facilitate this transition.)

Step 4: Age range 26 – 29. Spend at least three years, certainly no more than five, observing the Masters at work with the intention of learning all you can about how they operate. (This is where you will learn architects naturally place themselves at the top of the pyramid.) When complete it will be time to begin the process of getting noticed.

Step 5: Age range 30 – 35. Your privileged upbringing will give you access to private wealth. Use it to set up your own practice. (Make sure it is located in the architectural ghetto to make the right impression.) As an embryonic starchitect a private income will relieve you of the immediate pressure to become economically viable. You will then have the luxury of spending the next few years seeking the right opportunity to get noticed. If you happen to marry someone who is well connected, so much the better.

Step 6: Age range 30 – 35. It is also time to use the contacts you made at public school (or as an alternative use a wealthy family member) to engineer your ‘lucky break’ into the world of Architecture with a capital A. With your signature building complete you can now step out of the wings onto the main stage and enjoy the adulation of the audience. You will achieve this by using the opportunity as the vehicle for being widely published (and lauded) in the architectural press; an appearance on television or a feature in the week-end papers would be a bonus. As a direct consequence of your privileged background, by now you will have established an impeccable pedigree.

Step 7: Age range 36 – 40. Having stepped into the lime-light it is now essential you are initiated into the architectural establishment. (You may now have to employ a publicist and a good lieutenant to run the office.) The fastest way to accomplish this is to either win a prize – there are lots of them – or to be the subject of an exhibition or a book. The professional respectability this brings will instantly reinforce your carefully crafted media profile and complete your transformation into a fledgling starchitect.

Step 8: Age range 41 – 50. Your stature within the elite must now be consolidated with a major commission: a river side art museum would fit the bill. Your privileged upbringing will now pay dividends by providing you with the airs and graces to effortlessly rub shoulders with the super-rich patrons of the museum. The self-styled cultural elite will look to embrace you as a ‘new sensation’ to show the hoi polloi where the future lies. With their patronage you cannot now fail to make the leap to super-stardom.

Step 9: Age range 51 – 60.  With prestigious commissions and clients beating a path to your studio you now have the luxury of effortlessly consolidating your position amongst the architectural elite. By now your atelier should be filled with salaried mini-me disciples running on autopilot implementing your ideas precisely. Take advantage of free interns queuing up for the opportunity to observe the Master at work and the trickle down credibility that comes with it.

Step 10: Age range 60+. Relax and enjoy all the honours a class ridden society and cultural elite will now bestow upon you for all your ‘hard earned’ success!